Best Parenting World

In the last 20 years we’ve all been introduced to a new style of parenting that is much more democratic than most of us experienced, growing up. Families are more child- centered than they were before, we no longer advocate spanking as an effective form of discipline, we often allow children to negotiate for privileges or things, and we’re much more involved in our children’s lives than most of our parents were in our lives. Parenting is much, much less autocratic than it was in previous generations.

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is "My child won’t listen!" Repeated attempts in trying to get a child to co-operate often lands on deaf ears and leaves parents feeling exhausted and helpless. Frequently we say things we later regret and become riddled with guilt. Usual attempts often include nagging, yelling, spanking, time out, lecturing and threats. Despite consistently not getting the results we’re looking for, we resort to the same methods time and time again. We usually use what we were taught to use by our own parents. Although we often resolve to ourselves that we will do things differently and not resort to some of their methods of parenting, we do. It seems to be automatic. This is not intended to be an article about blaming our parents, rather an understanding of why we do what we do and provide some alternative responses. There were no parenting courses for our parents and they all did the best they knew how.

A common theme over the past 20 years has been how much children have changed from when we were growing up in terms of how they show respect. I know that for the most part in the 1960’s, anyone in a position of authority commanded respect which included parents, teachers, police officers, principals, bosses, coaches and anyone else we viewed in some way as a person in authority. We in fact were taught to “obey” and do as we were told; no questions asked. Many of those people did command respect but unfortunately many of them abused their position of power and felt they were licensed to say and do whatever they wanted simply by virtue of the position they held.

There are 3 components to respect; the respect you have for yourself, the respect you have for others and the respect you COMMAND of others. It is our job as parents to model and teach all three. Is it reasonable for us to command respect simply because we’re a parent?

Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for our children and for us. Starting something new always means change and all of us respond to change differently. Many of us welcome it but many of us are filled with apprehension and fear. Many of your children will be starting elementary school for the very first time. Others will be starting preschool for the first time and others will be carrying on in elementary school but in a new grade with different expectations and more than likely a new teacher.

Starting school or starting a new grade is exciting but also can be frightening because we don’t know what to expect. Many preschoolers will be separating from us for the first time. Some children separate easily while others have a difficult time with separation and need lots of time to ease into a new situation. It’s important for us to be sensitive to what our children are going through as they enter a world that is completely new to them. Remember, every child is a unique individual. I remember when my son started Grade 1 and he suddenly realized he had to be there all day. I had a week of having to coax him back into the classroom with the teacher’s help. I remember him saying to me while we were standing outside the school: "Grade 1 takes too long!!" We of course got past that once he started feeling comfortable with his teacher and new friends.

Baby shower party game ideas??
This is the question which comes to every baby shower hostess’ mind when she has to plan a baby shower and also brainstorm her mind to come up with an innovative game idea. There is also so much to be done in so little time. You have to organize and prepare invitations, food, drinks, party favors, schedules, and activities. You don’t want your baby shower to be exactly like every other shower your guests have attended.

The challenge is to come up with new baby shower games and ideas that aren’t too complicated. You don’t want to spend half an hour explaining to everyone the rules of a five-minute game. You also want your games to be entertaining for your guests. When the guests start to lose interest, the game is basically over, whether it’s supposed to be or not.

Let the baby games begin!
The best baby shower party game ideas are games that make your guests interact with each other. People who attend baby showers all know the guest of honor, of course, but they don’t all necessarily know each other. There is a bit of awkwardness when the shower first begins. It’s a good idea to come up with baby shower games ideas to break the ice and let the guests get acquainted.

Most of us when asked what we want our children to become, we include “responsible” among other things such as happy, fulfilled and caring. We want our children to learn to make wise choices, be responsible for their actions and live responsibly.

Do we teach children to become responsible by simply giving them chores to do? That’s part of it for sure but only part of it. What about learning to be responsible for their actions? What kind of messages do we give out that either encourage or discourage a child to become responsible? How are we at taking responsibility for our actions?

Expecting children to participate in the running of the household can begin as soon as they learn to walk. It simply makes a statement that they are a valued member of the household and are capable of making a contribution. We can start by providing hooks at their level so they can hang up their coats, by providing large plastic bins so toys can be easily accessed and put away, and by providing plastic dinnerware so they can clear their own dishes away. The older children become, responsibilities can be added according to what you’re comfortable with and what is appropriate for their age. If we get into the habit of always doing things for them that they can do for themselves, we give them the message that they’re not capable.

Mothers Share Buying Habits of Childrens Bedroom Furniture
 by: Teresa Schahczinski

Just two months ago, a group of mothers from three generations (Gen Y, Gen X and Baby Boomer demographics) shared their buying habits with retailers and manufacturers on purchasing childrens bedroom furniture and baby products. This occurred at the fifth annual Kids Today conference in Bonita Springs Florida.

Author and entrepreneur Maria Bailey, an executive in the fields of publishing, marketing, and business development, was the keynote speaker at the conference and a moderator for the panel. Maria Bailey has worked for numerous companies, including Automation USA, AutoNation, Discovery Zone, The Miami Herald, Broward Community College, and McDonald’s. Her experience as an executive and the mother of four young children led her to specialize in assisting mothers in balancing their home and work lives. Bailey explained the importance of marketing to mothers of different ages.

Even though there were some differences there were also many similarities. One baby boomer said she found information from other mothers quite useful. She tried shopping for childrens beds and other bedroom sets for her boys baby nursery at a baby boutique or a shop for kid furniture and found it was above her budget. She registered for designer baby bedding at one baby boutique but this particular parent found that shopping at a consignment shop for her boys bedroom furniture was the way to go.

Many parents seem to be more than a little confused about what they have a right to know about their teens.

The question I often get goes something like this:

“We want to know where our 16-year-old son is going to be, and who he is with. He makes it sound as if we are the most out-of-it parents, and that it is abusively embarrassing to him that we want to know what he and his friends are doing. Are we being fair?”

You have the right, need and obligation to know all these things, and more. I believe that every parent of a teen has the right to know and the crucial need to know several pieces of information that I call the W’s.

These crucial W’s are:

1) Who they are spending time with. One of the most powerful forces in the life of a teen is influence: of parents, media, culture and especially friends.

With friends, it’s not the question of can your children be influenced, but how they will be influenced. We have come to use the cliche of peer pressure, but this is really about influence.

For several years now, I’ve told the following story as a keynote presentation when I do speaking engagements:

When our oldest son was a toddler and teething heavily, he woke up one morning at 4 screaming and crying. My wife nudged me as a reminder that it was my turn to get up with him.

All the regular attempts to get him back to sleep did not work, so I decided to take him for a drive, which had been working for about a month or so. The problem was I was wearing only a T-shirt and underwear. My ID and pants were in the bedroom where Lauren had already gone back to sleep.

If I learned anything in that first year of parenthood, it was: Never wake a sleeping baby, and more important, never, ever wake a sleeping mom.

So, in my early-morning logic, I thought no one would see us. Driving around to get him to sleep did not work that night. To make a long story short, I got pulled over for speeding.

The officer asked to see my license and registration. I told him I’d really like to show them to him, but they were at home.

One of the basic issues we need to understand is that parents and teens view school very differently. This is important because often we believe that our kids look at school the same way we do.

In many cases, nothing could be further from the truth.

For parents, we work and want to do well in our jobs. So we think because our kids don’t work full time or at all, then school is their full-time job, and they should want to excel.

For teens, as well as many younger kids, school is their social world interrupted by six to seven classes a day.

This different view is the cause for many dinner-table squabbles.

Every now and then, as parents describe the problems with grades, they will say, “We got a D in that class.”

I’ve thought of many responses to that statement, most of which I don’t share. What I do say is, “Excuse me, who is this we? Do you go to class or does your child?”

The point is that at some time - the earlier the better - school must become more important to your child than it is to you.